«We had a lot going for us. We'd found the secret glue that held all things together. In a perfect place, where the noise did not intrude, our world was so very complete.»
I never quite understood why but stood inside your love. I had nothing. A love for someone that was not me. And pain that was only meant for hurting me. Why am I so fucking screwing with myself? I'm letting myself be abused. And not even trying to set myself free, because I'm here forever and cannot leave. It's all just too much for what is left of this reckless mind of mine. Now I'm only damaged bad at best. I'll slave till the fucking end and won't care for what happens to this, to me. AND MY HEART IS AS PRIVILEGED AS A WHORE. Everything I can't ignore but it is all fake once again. There is nothing I could say or do to change what ever there is to be changed. And I can hardly think or find the voice to scream for help anymore. I just can't care enough for myself anymore. What a shame. What a waste. I'm riding along in my life in a car, my thoughts are flashing lights as I suddenly crash. These sensations barely interest me for another day.